Happy Halloween!
by Naachan'sredhead
Summary: Naruto and Gaara don't want to go trick-or-treating but their parents don't care. So they are forced to partake in the dangerous holiday on their dangerous street. No real couples except the 'mom' and dad. M-ish.
1. Chapter 1

It's Halloween and we must celebrate! This was based on/inspired by a song I heard when I lived in Texas. This badass boy let me listen to his ipod and I fell in LOVE with this band called ICP (Insane Clown Posse).

Anyway, this is my little Halloween fic. Enjoy and HAPPY HALLOWEEN AND CLOWN LOVE TO THE WHOLE NATION!

P.S this took me about three days to do. Yeah… forgot what day the holiday was on. And I'm tired of missing Holidays.

"Fuck! Dammit!" Gaara cursed, kicking his dresser. The wooden drawer immediately snapped into itself as his booted foot crashed into it. His brother, Naruto, was sitting on the bed and was cursing just as bad as his brother. Today was the worst day in their lives. Today was…

"It's another Halloween!" Naruto whined, kicking the remote from the bed. It accidentally turned on the television causing Gaara to pause in his destruction of their shared room. On the screen was a scientist man.

"Science is but an organized system of _ignorance_! There are more things in heaven and on earth than are in a tenth of our philosophy. What do we know about the beyond? Do we know what's behind the beyond? I'm afraid some of us don't even know what's beyond behind," he finished.

Naruto stuck his tongue out at the screen and turned it off. He didn't need some crazy looking scientist telling him that he was stupid as was everyone else. The red haired boy moaned and flopped on the bed by his brother. The blond threw himself on the redhead, smirking as Gaara let out a pained moan. Yeah, Naruto knew that his little brother was smaller and lighter than he was… it was fun to rub in this little fact.

"Naruto, you fat ass! Get off me!" Gaara hissed, pushing the bigger boy off his body. Naruto landed on the floor, head first.

"Fuck, dammit! It's another Halloween, why do we have to live on Suna Street?" Naruto cursed, "You remember what happened last time we went trick-or-treating right!" Gaara shuddered and thought about last Halloween and nearly every one before this one.

Only the people living in Konoha and living on Suna Street knew what fear really was when it came to this popular holiday. Someone's house got set on fire, another person's car was blown up, and there was a razor blade in one of Gaara's lollipops!

"We were so lucky that Kankuro decided to steal that lollipop!" Naruto exclaimed, obviously remembering that day. Gaara remembered it clearly too. He also recalled kicking his cousin in the balls for taking his candy! No, the violent redhead didn't give a shit that the boy was bleeding from the gums; the asshole shouldn't have stolen from him in the first place!

"You think mom will let us off the hook instead of forcing us out the house?" Gaara asked. Just as Naruto prepared to reply in the negative, the door was kicked open by none other than their mother… father… chick looking foster father.

"What the Hell are you still doing in the damn house!" Shukaku demanded, hands on his narrow hips. He smiled in his sadistic little way as the room was filled with complaints and pleas for mercy. Of course the pale man knew what dangers laid outside this household but he couldn't have his own brand of fun if these snot nosed kids were inside the damn house!

"We will be quiet, please we promise!" Naruto begged. Both Gaara and Shukaku raised a brow at this obvious lie. Last year Shukaku had let them stay home, making them both promise to keep their mouths shut throughout the whole night. They had managed… for a little while.

That was until Kyuubi had come home from work and the two started to have loud, disturbing, violent sex right outside their door. The boys had survived that with only a few whimpers and whispered prayers that it would all end. But then… someone had knocked on the door. Shukaku, who was not a very friendly person to begin with, was even worse when his sex was interrupted. Shukaku had stomped down the stairs and shot whoever was at the door with a shot gun.

Obviously, Gaara and Naruto couldn't stay quiet. They protested and shrieked and called the cops to help the injured man that was only grazed by the shot. This resulted in the cops coming and asking what happened, Kyuubi lying his ass off, Shukaku kicking them out for the rest of the evening, and them having to hide over Sasuke's house for a whole week before they felt safe coming back home.

It was really not an experience anyone wanted to go through twice in one lifetime.

"You and I know that that is a horrible lie Naruto. Now, do as Shukaku says and put some fucking costumes on. We need you out of this house before Shukaku sits outside with a gun and I get out the sniper," Kyuubi's deep voice stated outside the door. Naruto glared at the red haired man. Dammit, wasn't the man of the relationship supposed to stick up for the sons.

'_Obviously not,' _Naruto grumbled mentally as a bundle of clothes was thrown at him and his brother. Gaara sighed and dragged himself up to pull on the outfit that would serve as his costume. Naruto did the same, not even complaining about what he had to dress up as.

By the time they were done, Shukaku was grinning ear to ear and snapping quick pictures of his two boys in their 'cute' little outfits. Naruto was standing there in baggy pants and a heavy leather jacket. On his face was a hockey mask with a drop of 'fake' blood dripping down. In the boy's hand was a 'fake' blade that glimmered in the light.

Gaara was standing in much of the same outfit though he had on white cream over his face with a black smile was added on through make-up. Apparently he was trying to be a killer clown. The redhead always refused to wear full faced masks and real costumes, they never ended well. In his boots were a long knife and his hand held a heavy, metal bat.

They weren't fucking around this year.

"Well, here are your bags, have fun kiddies!" Kyuubi shouted as he pushed them out of the door.

"HAPPY HALLOWEEN!" Shukaku cackled and slammed the door after giving them another rough shove away from the porch. Naruto and Gaara stumbled down the porch steps before righting themselves. The two brothers crouched down a bit away from the house; they had to make battle plans. This year they would not get shot, bruised, beaten, or stabbed. This year, they would be just as violent as the rest of the nut jobs around them!

"Okay, our block goes in a full 'u' shape. We will start at the end and work our way up—separate ways. If anyone fucks with us this year well…" Gaara trailed off and grinned sadistically at his bat. Naruto smiled at his brother and did a short high five before pulling down his mask. The two of them dashed down the street and stood at the first house.

"You take this one and I'll go this way," Gaara compromised, turning to the house just right of it. Naruto gulped and shook himself to get ready. He had no idea how bad or how good this would go. All he knew was that he had to stop being a pussy and ring the damn doorbell.

"What!" a very pale man with long, greasy black hair shouted as he yanked open the door. Naruto stopped himself from pissing his pants and held out his bag, politely asking for candy. Orochimaru, as Naruto knew him, sneered at him and spit in his face. The blond was so shocked that he just stared as a rock was thrown in his bag.

"Never mind, sir! I'd rather take nothing instead," Naruto denied. He pulled the rock from his bag and gave it back to the pale man. As the blond turned to leave, he felt a sharp pain in the back of his head as the rock was thrown hard at him. He fell to his knees, holding his head in pain as the door was slammed.

"That hurt like a bitch!" the blond seethed, standing up. Oh, he would tell Gaara about this and they would have their revenge! The blond sighed and slowly trudged to the next house, wondering how his brother was doing.

((A/N: we will be skipping back and forth between the two of them… you'll notice because they'll never stand beside each other until the end))

Gaara was doing slightly better than his brother. Well he was doing better in a way that he wasn't hurt yet. The redhead took a deep breath and tightened his hold on his baseball bat. Knocking on the wooden door, it came open easily.

"Hello…?" Gaara tilted his head and pushed the door open more. Just a few feet into the house there was an old lady… lying… dead on the floor. Her tight, gray bun that was usually on top of her head was a little crooked as if she had fallen there.

"Ms. Chiyo…?" Gaara whispered, poking the lady with his bat. The old woman didn't move or signal that she was alive. For some reason, Gaara just really didn't care. The fact that this woman was a complete bitch had no say in his feelings. "Well since you're dead… do you have a treat?"

"Sure dearie!" a dry, evil voice stated. Gaara watched in disgust as she lifted her leg over his outstretched bag and scrapped flakes off her dead feet. _'That's fucking nasty!' _the redhead thought before turning and stomping out the door and to the next house.

"Thanks, ma'am!" Naruto smiled as he was given actual candy. The lady smiled warmly at him and slammed the door into his face. The blond skipped to the next house, happy and giddy. He was so happy that he didn't notice the woman standing in the door… at first.

Naruto stopped dead in his tracks as he stared at the woman, wondering if he was seeing things. The blond rubbed at his blue eyes and looked at the woman standing in the door. She was a bit fat, not ugly but not pretty in Naruto's dictionary. And… she was topless. Yes, the chubby woman was topless and standing in her doorway with a demented smile on her face.

"Uh…" Naruto was unsure of what to do or say. Hell, he wasn't sure if he was even awake right about now. Nice people on Suna street were hard to come about and now there was a fat lady… standing in her doorway… now holding up one of her breast.

"Uh… trick… or treat?" Naruto whispered, stepping a bit closer and holding out his bag. The woman smiled triumphantly as if those were the words that she had been waiting for. Naruto had the feeling that his stomach would be protesting to something very soon.

"Treat or trick!" she crowed and began to squeeze on her boob. Naruto had no idea what she was doing so he stood there, watching her. She squeezed on her titty… until… it—

"Fuck, that's too sick!" Naruto shrieked, hands going over his eyes as he dashed to the next house. Never again would he ever go to that house. That was fucking sick and the color of that—

"No, no, not thinking of that!" Naruto hissed to himself. Let's just say that his mask came in handy.

** The END

This is only part one. I know that I haven't updated anything but... HALLOWEEEEEN! The next part is coming at midnight.


	2. Chapter 2

It made absolutely no sense to put this in two chapters but I did... ain't nothing you can do about it!

**Second chapter**

The house after the old woman was set a bit in the woods. At first Gaara was going to skip over it… he never liked the forest and he surely didn't like the pervert that lived in the house though his lover was a bit nice. _'I really want that candy…' _the clown-ish dressed boy thought before walking towards the house.

Gaara took a deep breath and knocked on the door. It was silent for a moment then there was a knock from the inside. Confused, Gaara knocked again. Instead of a knock, the door swung open.

"Come on in!" a cheerful, creepy voice ordered.

"Fuck that!" Gaara responded, turning around and dashing away. He didn't make it very far before a hand caught the back of his shirt and pulled him back to towards the house. Gaara dropped his candy bag and ripped away from the pervert, swinging his bat as hard as he could.

The metal met some part of the man's stomach as he went down with a grunt. Gaara began to beat the man as hard as he could, making sure that pervert knew not to fuck with him ever again.

"Hey, hey! What are you doing!" a voice demanded. Gaara looked up to see Iruka, the pervert's lover and the nicest man on this entire block. The redhead stopped beating on Kakashi and said an apology to Iruka.

"He told me to come in the house and he grabbed me when I tried to leave!" Gaara justified. He looked down at the man who was smiling up at him as if he hadn't just got beaten with a metal bat. Iruka sighed and looked down at his lover with a disappointed frown on his face.

"I'm sorry about that… here you go. Candy," Iruka smiled, finding Gaara's bag and placing about two fists full of candy into it. Gaara thanked the man and watched Kakashi be dragged off by his hair, loudly complaining about how he wasn't going to do anything.

"Why do we have to live in the one town with these weirdos!" Gaara grumbled, stomping away. He wondered how his brother was doing.

Naruto wasn't doing too good. After the fat woman, he stopped at Sakura's house and she was the cutest girl and she always had a boyfriend. Actually, Sakura was a bit of a whore and everyone knew it. She had told him to drop his pants and she'd give him something…

That something was a flick in the balls! So, now he was hobbling and grumbling to the next house, just waiting for the worst. He frowned when he noticed the hearse standing in the drive-way.

"Not another dead body, not another dead body…" Naruto prayed and hoped. Gulping, the blond knocked on the white door and whispered, "Is anybody home?"

To his surprise, the door opened to reveal a really old man with no teeth and tanned skin. He smiled at Naruto and said, "Of course little child! Now, have a sugar coated kidney stone." He dropped a sugar coated kidney stone in Naruto's bag.

Then he closed the door in Naruto's face. The blond didn't comment and just ran onto the next house.

The next house that Gaara was going to was through a field. He had no idea how this one house had a field while the others were barren. Hell, when he was about ten or so, he had tried to make a garden or even weeds but nothing grew. The redhead shook the thoughts out of his head and realized that friendly little Hinata was standing on the porch.

She was about two years older than him and very shy but she was the nicest person—Hell, Iruka didn't even have anything on her. If there was someone that needed another person to talk to, Hinata would be the first one. The girl was standing there in her cooking bib which was always a good sign.

"… How about some candy?" Gaara asked, holding out his bag. Hinata smiled and shook her head. She held out what looked like freshly made bread. The redhead tilted his head and watched as she dropped it in his sack. It wasn't that bad considering the shitty things he had gotten from other people last year.

"How about, instead, a nice hot, fresh loaf of yeast infection bread?" her eyes were looking a bit larger than usual.

Gaara turned green around the edges and rushed away from the woman's house, more than slightly disgusted.

Naruto's bag was getting heavy so he sat on the curb. The last house he was at gave him cereal in a plastic baggie and corn on the cob… well it was more like the cob with half the corn eaten from it. The blond looked up to see his brother rushing from Hinata's house _'Lucky son of a bitch. She probably gave him loads of candy!' _he thought bitterly.

"Hey, Lee, are you sure we should be here?" a voice asked cautiously. Naruto picked up his head to see two kids riding on their bikes. These kids were most definitely not Suna street kids and they really shouldn't be on such a dangerous block.

"Oh, Kiba-san—youth is everywhere so we shall trick-or-treat here!" a weirdo with black hair in a bowl cut and an odd, green jumpsuit on shouted. Naruto smiled mischievously and looked across the street to see his brother nodding to him. The blond nodded and hid slightly in the dark. "Let's split up, shall we?"

The kid named Kiba was on his side of the street while Lee went on Gaara's side. _'Too easy,' _Naruto thought as he ran forward and tackled the wild haired brunette dressed as a dog off his seat. The kid gave out a loud yelp and he heard the Lee-kid scream too. Naruto snatched away the kid's bag filled with candy and delivered a swift kick to the boy's stomach before taking off to the next house, whistling happily.

Gaara smiled to himself. His bag of candy… well, whatever was actually candy, had tripled in size! And he got to beat up a tall, greenly dressed kid around his age or older! All's well that ends well. He wasn't even worried about what the next scary prize would consist of. The pale redhead knocked on the door harshly before shouting in a rather cheerful voice,

"Trick or treat, trick, treat, tricky dick!" he had no idea what it meant but he felt like saying it. The door immediately opened just so a hand could come out and flick him on the lips before slamming the door in his face.

"This fucker didn't give me shit," Gaara hissed angrily. He put his bat through the guy's window and ran swiftly to the next house.

Naruto was at the huge Uchiha mansion (his friend Sasuke lived here). He couldn't be any happier though he always wondered why a rich family would build a mansion on such a shitty street. That didn't matter because he was going to get the best candy from this house!

"Hello?" Naruto called out as he rang the doorbell. The door was yanked out and there stood an extremely tall, grumpy looking man in a suit. He had the oddest, scariest eyes in the world and his mouth looked like it was sewn on. He was a bit tanned and looked almost like a zombie. '_Less Lurch looking motherfucker,' _Naruto found himself thinking. He had never seen this particular butler.

"Trick… or treat?" Naruto asked, holding out his bag. The man grunted and reached in his pocket. Naruto wasn't sure but he thought that the man hurt his back because he paused for a long moment. Naruto tilted his head as he continued to hold his sack out and the man continued to just stand there.

"It's taking him an hour," Naruto muttered under his breath, "My bag is open and fucking ready…" Then the man seemed to find what he was looking for. He dropped it in Naruto's sack… a fucking penny!

"Are you kidding me!" Naruto burst out before kicking the man in the shin and running swiftly away.

Gaara wasn't sure but he thought that the house he was standing near was abandoned. He had never seen anyone live in the broken down thing. He should just forget it and—

There was a shuffle somewhere in the dark house. _'You cannot hide from the awesome Gaara!' _the redhead thought to himself, cackling and knocking on the door at the same time.

"Trick or treat!" Gaara said loudly. A man tumbled out looking dangerous and thin. He was obviously a crack head… the redhead had seen him at the school a couple of times buying from a known drug dealer (Shino).

"Hahadoh!" the crack head shouted before falling into Gaara's bag and dying instantly. _'Okay…' _Gaara thought, wincing before pushing the man out of his bag and continuing to the last house on the black.

The last house on the block was thankfully theirs. Naruto darted across the street to his brother who smiled slightly at him, holding up his bag filled with candy and… other shit. Gaara squinted his eyes. There was his mother-figure (Shukaku)… sitting on the porch… with a pistol in his hand. And, judging by the blood stain on the ground, someone was foolish enough to approach Shukaku.

"Back yard?" Gaara stated casually. Naruto nodded only to put an arm on Gaara chest in the next second. The redhead raised an eyebrow before looking up. Trained on his forehead was a red dot… sniper gun.

"Roof?" Naruto asked.

"Yeah…" Gaara climbed on the roof with his brother Naruto before smiling slightly. He truly hated Halloween on their block—danger and death all around but… it was a bit fun with all the thrill and disgusting stuff they received. His older brother smiled at him, thinking the same thing. Naruto threw an arm around his Gaara's shoulder and they both tilted their heads upwards.

"HAPPY HALLOWEEN AND DEMON LOVE TO THE CITY!" they yelled just as a car blew up down the street and a house set on fire. They were sure they could hear wolves cry to the full moon and Shukaku cackle evilly.

**&The End&**

OMG! That was the hardest thing ever… the last shout, I don't really know what the Hell it means but that was the last lyric of the song… which I still don't own.

What I wasn't trying to make fun of: people getting hurt during Halloween, fires, drug addicts, and razors in candy bars

Things I was trying to make fun of: I don't have the answer for that. So… erm… just comment on the damn thing. Please don't put down my efforts on humor. The character bashing wasn't really character bashing—just wrong name at the wrong time.


End file.
